Relationship tips - 9 Reasons Why You’re Still Single
Along the way you might have learned some bad relationship habits which might include page-long must-have lists to oversharing too much too fast. You’ve been out on the dating scene but for some reason your romances tend to crash and burn – it’s time to realize that if the stink follows you where ever you go, well, then it’s time to look in the mirror.
Ask yourself are you really ready to let someone close and have a real relationship where you’ll live under the same roof, plan vacations and share inside jokes and have pet names for each other. Here are 9 reasons that could be keeping you single.
1. Your must-have list is pages long
This goes for both men and women. You are that 95% who is trying to date the 5%. It’s time to get rid of the unrealistic checklist. There is no such thing as perfect, so stop looking for that. We are not talking about lowering your standards, just stick with the definite deal-breakers and forget about the rest.
2. You’re ex is still occupying your thoughts
Would you like to date someone who is bitter and angry? Someone who blames you of something someone else did to them in the past? This is something that can keep you from being ready for a relationship again. Don’t let your ex ruin this for you too by letting him occupy your thoughts and stopping you from moving forward. If you are not over your ex, keep those thought to yourself and keep the conversation light and talk about topics like movies, hobbies, sports and concentrate on having fun with the person you are currently on a date with. Remember that it’s not your dates fault what happened in the past with your ex.
3. You overshare too fast
Most of us have baggage of some kind. What we suggest is not to unload all your baggage on the first date. Eventually yes, but not too early. Let your date get to know you as a happy, joyful and sensual woman and find out if he/she is a keeper. Once you know each other better they are more likely to want to go the distance. But there are exceptions, some things should be said right there and then. You don’t want to waste your dates nor your time if your “baggage” could possibly be a deal breaker. Lets say there is something that would affect the other person when getting in a relationship with you, you should bring it up.
4. Stop chasing the unavailable guys
Going after unavailable guys is not going to get you anywhere in the long run. You think the commitment-phobic will change, the married person will leave their spouse for you and you even think you can turn the gay straight. If you have a tendency to fall for the unavailable then it might be you who is afraid to commit. Do some soul-searching and find out what you really want.
5. You cling like Velcro
You just started seeing this guy and you are already calling him 24/7 and asking his whereabouts. Clinging on to a guy makes you seem insecure and desperate. And I’d say it’s a big turn off for any guy. What you can do is to: Get a life! Have friends and activities.
6. You hop into bed too soon
If you are looking for something more serious you might want to wait before you hop into bed. Find out what they are about, if they are even a keeper and if they are, let the feelings have some time to grow… mutually. If you are used to having a lot of one night stands it might be hard for you to let something deeper develop and let alone recognize it.
7. You’re addicted to bad boys
Why do women fall for the bad boys? Because they are actually addictive. And how is that? These relationships are stressful and anxiety-provoking and get your cortisol and adrenaline running through your system all the time. And on top of that, great sex that provides a surge of oxytocin. So yes, bad boys can truly be addictive and after that it might be difficult to get excited about a nice guy who calls when he’s supposed to and treats you well. I hope that the nice guys aren’t getting any ideas from this. Women who are addicted to bad boys need to break the cycle and find the adrenalin rush somewhere else than from a guy.
8. You think you can change him
You want him to start working out, stop smoking, eat less junk food and find a better job and your intentions are good: you want to live healthier and longer life together with him. But if you start pushing for the changes that he does not want, it won’t end up well. Instead talk to him why you’d like him to make the specific change. Is he happy the way he is? If he is, then ask yourself can you live with his “imperfections”?
9. You mistake cooling passion for goodbye
The excitement and butterflies is not going to last forever but some tend to think that they do. The butterfly factor is naturally short-lived. If you want to continue past the butterflies, you’ll just have to roll with the hard and boring relationship stuff. If you follow through, you can end up with a soul-mate with deep sexual connection that keeps on growing.
Ask yourself are you really ready to let someone close and have a real relationship where you’ll live under the same roof, plan vacations and share inside jokes and have pet names for each other. Here are 9 reasons that could be keeping you single.
1. Your must-have list is pages long
This goes for both men and women. You are that 95% who is trying to date the 5%. It’s time to get rid of the unrealistic checklist. There is no such thing as perfect, so stop looking for that. We are not talking about lowering your standards, just stick with the definite deal-breakers and forget about the rest.
2. You’re ex is still occupying your thoughts
Would you like to date someone who is bitter and angry? Someone who blames you of something someone else did to them in the past? This is something that can keep you from being ready for a relationship again. Don’t let your ex ruin this for you too by letting him occupy your thoughts and stopping you from moving forward. If you are not over your ex, keep those thought to yourself and keep the conversation light and talk about topics like movies, hobbies, sports and concentrate on having fun with the person you are currently on a date with. Remember that it’s not your dates fault what happened in the past with your ex.
3. You overshare too fast
Most of us have baggage of some kind. What we suggest is not to unload all your baggage on the first date. Eventually yes, but not too early. Let your date get to know you as a happy, joyful and sensual woman and find out if he/she is a keeper. Once you know each other better they are more likely to want to go the distance. But there are exceptions, some things should be said right there and then. You don’t want to waste your dates nor your time if your “baggage” could possibly be a deal breaker. Lets say there is something that would affect the other person when getting in a relationship with you, you should bring it up.
4. Stop chasing the unavailable guys
Going after unavailable guys is not going to get you anywhere in the long run. You think the commitment-phobic will change, the married person will leave their spouse for you and you even think you can turn the gay straight. If you have a tendency to fall for the unavailable then it might be you who is afraid to commit. Do some soul-searching and find out what you really want.
5. You cling like Velcro
You just started seeing this guy and you are already calling him 24/7 and asking his whereabouts. Clinging on to a guy makes you seem insecure and desperate. And I’d say it’s a big turn off for any guy. What you can do is to: Get a life! Have friends and activities.
6. You hop into bed too soon
If you are looking for something more serious you might want to wait before you hop into bed. Find out what they are about, if they are even a keeper and if they are, let the feelings have some time to grow… mutually. If you are used to having a lot of one night stands it might be hard for you to let something deeper develop and let alone recognize it.
7. You’re addicted to bad boys
Why do women fall for the bad boys? Because they are actually addictive. And how is that? These relationships are stressful and anxiety-provoking and get your cortisol and adrenaline running through your system all the time. And on top of that, great sex that provides a surge of oxytocin. So yes, bad boys can truly be addictive and after that it might be difficult to get excited about a nice guy who calls when he’s supposed to and treats you well. I hope that the nice guys aren’t getting any ideas from this. Women who are addicted to bad boys need to break the cycle and find the adrenalin rush somewhere else than from a guy.
8. You think you can change him
You want him to start working out, stop smoking, eat less junk food and find a better job and your intentions are good: you want to live healthier and longer life together with him. But if you start pushing for the changes that he does not want, it won’t end up well. Instead talk to him why you’d like him to make the specific change. Is he happy the way he is? If he is, then ask yourself can you live with his “imperfections”?
9. You mistake cooling passion for goodbye
The excitement and butterflies is not going to last forever but some tend to think that they do. The butterfly factor is naturally short-lived. If you want to continue past the butterflies, you’ll just have to roll with the hard and boring relationship stuff. If you follow through, you can end up with a soul-mate with deep sexual connection that keeps on growing.
